My family wants R95 000 for lobola and he expects me to help pay.

We got engaged in December and I was happy until the negotiations started. My uncles came back with a number that's more than either of us earns in 6 months, and he is asking if I can help also by contributing from my own savings. My mom says a real man doesn't ask his bride to pay for herself. He says times have changed and families do this together now. I love him. I'm just starting to wonder if I'm marrying him or i am marrying myself?